Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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