Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
