Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
