brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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