I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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