At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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