Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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