i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize