I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
