Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
