i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize