party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
