is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
