What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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