Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize