the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
