she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize