"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
