Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Your dad touched me again.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
