Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
