she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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