I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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