i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
