So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
