i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
