worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
