And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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