I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
