the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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