He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm like, not good at living.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
