ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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