Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
