Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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