I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize