To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my being single is dangerous.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
