Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
