They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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