the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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