Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
