cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
