By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
