Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
