yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
