the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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