Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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