Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
