Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
