hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize