Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
