this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm always down for nudity.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
