Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize