We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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