After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize