Already got asked if we're dating
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
