You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I want to be your penis for a week.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If I die, sorry about rent.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
