We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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