Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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