a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
last night I used snow as a chaser
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
