if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
