We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
