You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
