Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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