It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize