and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
