You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I could fuck to npr.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
