you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
