this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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