how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
